Of Love and Hate.

We are enthralled by the eyes,

Of a man who loves us entirely.

We are enthralled by the sweet words,

Of a man who catches our eyes.

We are enthralled by the heat,

The explosion of energy that sparks between us.

We are just a woman,

And a man,

We are just a girl,

And a boy,

We are just two people,

Falling in love,

At a flash of a moment,

Unable to conquer,

This endless desire.

It draws from us our silliness,

We trip, we fall, we say something stupid,

We get embarrassed, we turn around, we walk away,

We so badly want to touch her,

To touch him,

We know we can’t.

Because there’s this line between us,

So fine, it separates the difference,

Between love and hate.

We are unique beings,

With our own desires and wants,

We are separate individuals,

Moving at our own pace,

We are two people in love,

Looking for a way to exist side by side,

In an endless romance,

That is untouched by that fine line,

Of love and hate.

In love is like loving,

Loving where the heart is open,

Open to that other person,

Accepting, and believing,

Believing, that it is possible,

To love more than hate

The flaws that create

That fine line

Of love and hate.


Love In Secret.

I wrote a letter,

And signed it with a heart,

Posting it in your locker,

Mail box,

Under your door,

And ran away for another day.


I watch you from afar,

Laughing til your sides hurt,

Slapping the back of your best friend,

Shaking their hands until it’s numb,

Knowing that it’s another experience,

Another happiness just being there.


I confess to you,

A hundred times in my sleep,

Opening my heart,

To reach yours,

Across the moonscape, telling,

Without telling, how much I love you.


I see you walking beside me,

My friend of old years,

And long years, sharing your secrets,

Hugging me, kissing me,

Not knowing of my pain,

Thriving, swelling in my heart.


I kiss you when you’re sleeping,

Put roses in your shoes,

And sweet nothings next to your breakfast,

With my hope

That you will have,

A beautiful, lovely amazing day.


I am your stalker,

Your lover and lover’s greatest fear,

I mean no harm with what I do,

But trust me on this,

I will watch you always,

From afar, loving—

With this love in secret.

I Am Me, You Are You.


I am me,

You are you,

We are one,

We are two.

Where we go,

What we see,

Takes time,

For both,

You and me.

We are three,

Searching for four,

Finding five,

Lost in six.

I am me,

You are you,

Lost in love,

Scared of lust.

One is finding,

Two is changing,

Three is looking,

Four is deciding.

I am me,

You are you,

Can’t we be,

Just two and three?

Uniquely different,

Separated by one,

Following each other,

Going forward,

Chasing back.

I am me,

You are you,

Let’s find a way

To be,

Who we are,

In a world

Of ones and zeros.



Boys Are Stupid, Girls Are Stupid.

Boys are stupid,

If they think we can read their minds.

Boys are stupid,

Who need everything spelt out,

In a sentence that’s more than one word.

Boys are stupid,

Because their brains are on fire,

With thoughts and feelings,

They can’t express,

Except in the most vulgar way.

I am a woman,

You are a man,

Our minds are the same,

Yet different from the same.

I think like a woman,

Cry like a woman,

Get hurt like a woman,

Feel shame like a woman.

I act like a man


I act like I don’t care,


I act like it doesn’t hurt.

But I feel the same pain,

As you do.

I feel the same shame

As you do.

I feel the same hot fire

As you do.

So why do I judge?

And call you stupid?

You infuriate me

Cheat on me

Love me

Hate me

Can’t make up your mind about me.

Who am I to you?

I am a woman,

You are a man.

I’ve cheated on you,

Because you ignored me.

I’ve hurt you so you can feel

The shame that should be felt.

I lied to you

Because you did nothing.

I am a horrible person.

But aren’t you the same?

Do you love me?

Hate me?

Ashamed of my rash actions?

Because I’m starting hate you,

Not because you didn’t love me,

Not because you started to hate me,

Not because our feelings weren’t there.

It’s because we are the same,

Doing the same things,

Acting the same way,

Unable to connect,

When it’s time to connect.

I am a woman,

You are a man,

We are ashamed of each other,

Hurting each other,

Unsure of each other.

Girls are stupid, you see,

We forget to care,

Even though we care so much.

Girls are stupid, you see,

Because we think of romance,

So much, sometimes

We forget about the present.

Girls are stupid, you see,

Because our brains are on fire,

With thoughts and feelings,

We can’t express,

Except in the most stupidest ways.


Love is…

Happiness the shade of light

And dark,

It’s the moments when we are

The most happiest

Filled with joy

And exploding brightness,

Where nothing matters

Anything more than

Being with the ones

We love the most.

Our boyfriends

Our husbands

Our families

Our children.

Love is the greatest feeling

Both great and confusing,

Dizzying and electrifying,



We want it all,



Moving our choices,

To suit them,

And us,


Even in darkness,

Where love is blind

To the other’s faults,


And painful lies,

We still love them

More than anything.



Is incurable, yet constant,

To the extent of heartbreak,

And disappointment of missing, it is painful,

Painless, to watch from afar,

The source of my feelings, that explode.

Quote #67

Marilyn Monroe


From Marilyn Monroe…

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

I Came Across The Sea.

I came across the sea with nothing in my mind,

Except that I would find you.

I didn’t know how,

I didn’t know where,

All I knew you were here,

Where the world was prospering,

And the gold was flowing.

Why didn’t you tell me to come?

Why didn’t you come home?

Why were your letters,


And briefer,

With each passing letter?

Do I know?

I think I know.

I think deep down,

I already felt,

The breaking,



Tie that bound us together.

I think,

I knew,

The day and month,

When I had not received a word,

Or a telegram,

A passing desire,

Or that you’re longing for me,

That you didn’t love me anymore.

I guess you shouldn’t have gone,

I guess I should have come,

Rather than stay in my comfort zone,

Knowing that we were in love,

Knowing that your heart was still mine,

And mine alone.

But it was never mine,

Was it?

I was just someone you married,

For the sake of convenience,

And I can’t even complain,

When you’re with another woman,

That you should love me,

And not her,

Because we both knew,

This is how it was.

And this,

Is how I found you,

Because you are striking,

In that kind of way.

You may have loved me once,

Or thought I was okay,

But now you don’t


Or feel

What you should


If you did feel

One ounce of guilt,

It barely showed

On your face,

To you,

I was just a convenience,

Who shouldn’t have been there at all.

Yet, I opened your door,

At the discretion of the man,

Who’d led me there,

Out of pity,

Most likely.

Out of lust,


Because I know,

I am not hideous to look at,

Nor is my figure not undesirable,

It is just you who can’t look at me,

And love me more than lust.

You let that man guide me,

Right to the door,

Of your betrayal.

I hope you have a good life,

In the arms of that scandalous woman,

When I divorce you,

And take what’s mine,

I hope you have a good life,

Because it’s your name,

That’s ruined now.

Not mine.

I would never be so stupid,

Knowing this would be how it turned out.


I wish,

I had not come across the see,

In search of a man,

Who was supposed to be my husband,

Searching for a fortune,

To add to what we had.

I wish,

I had been stronger,

To marry someone I loved,

And not someone for convenience.



I Want You.

I want you,

To strip off your clothes,

Push me down,

And do things,

I can’t say out loud.

I want you,

To hold my hand,

Kiss my lips,

Hide me from prying eyes,

And kiss me hard.

I want you,

To take my waist,

To turn me round,

To press against me,

And whisper a secret.

I want you,

To touch me,

Take me out on a date,

And say nothing,

Except what you always say.

I want you,

To dress nicely,

Dress wisely,

And walk boldly,

Looking absolutely delicious.

I want you,

To be played,

By me only,

Waiting every time,

Longing always for my kiss.

I want you,

To wait for me,

Even though I seem

Just a bit fickle

Not really quite sure.

I want you,

Just as you want me,

So don’t turn your head,

When I say,

Just wait.

I want you,

But I’m not quite ready,

That doesn’t mean never though,

Because, It’s true,

I want you too.

So you’ll have me,

And I’ll have you,

Just like you want,

Because we are,

Would you believe?

We are just the same.

Modern Day Juliet.

It was never meant to be,

The two of us,


Living in harmony.

I’m a Lady,

And you’re little better than a servant.

But somehow,

With the passing seasons,

The time you spent at my side,

Watching me carefully,

Making sure I didn’t fall.



Fell in love with you.

It was never meant to be,

The way we were together,

Sharing light kisses,

Bordering on passion,

And love,

I tried to hide it,

To save myself,

And to save you.

I treated you like a toy,

Toyed with you,

Kissed you,

Embraced you.

I wanted you too much,

I should have let it go.

But it’s not suppose to happen in this era,

Not in this life,

When people call themselves modern.

It should have been fine,

But it wasn’t.  somehow,

Some way along,

We became,

A modern day love story,

A tragedy,

Not unlike,

Juliet and her Romeo.

The Red Fish On The Mantel:

The red fish

Sat on the mantel piece,

A gift from husband to wife.

It has gold fins,

And big red eyes,

With red-gold scales,

On all sides.

The wife placed it facing the couch,

So that she could gaze

And admire

It’s red-gold beauty.

She had a penchant

For pretty

Beautiful things,

A penchant that was

Not limited to

Just objects and clothes.

One warm autumn night,

While the husband was away,

The wife comes out of,

Her wifely clothes,

To play with pretty,

Boys and pretty toys.

She’s a beautiful woman,

Who deserves beautiful things,

But a man whose loves her,

Deserves a little more.

Whether it’s despicable,

What he does,

When he’s away,


His wife’s betrayal,

While it’s in play.

His head falls,

Cupped in his hands,

As he tries to comtemplate,

His worst mistake.

But he can’t see,

What he did wrong,

If he had done anything wrong,

To her.

And he stands,

And throws,

In menacing anger,

The remote.

When he returns home,

She thinks nothing has changed,

And for a moment,

He thinks so too.

She doesn’t do anything,

Out of place,

She doesn’t around him,

As though she should be cautious,

She just leans up and kisses his cheek,

With all her love and warmth,

Just like always.

It had never seemed so bleak,

His beautiful, perfect marriage.

He should have realised,

That his wife,

Loved him for his beauty,

And because he gave her beautiful things,

Like the fish on the mantel,




To her,

He gives her one last gift,

Before leaving a sheaf of papers,

Lying on the dining room table,

For her to find.

He was not really hurt,

Just sad that

She was too fickle.

The next time he falls in love,

He hopes that,

He won’t need to buy

And give,

A fish that is red-gold,

With big,

Red eyes.

In Love.

Being in love,

Is like the summer breeze,



It brings a smile to your face.

It makes me want to touch you,

Caress your cheeks,

With everything I am.

It makes me want to kiss you,

And never, ever,

Stop kissing you.

But you fall away from me,

Drifting away,

Letting go of my hand.

Is this what being in love means?

That I will lose you,

When I hold you too close?

I don’t want to lose you,

Because I love you,

But do you love me?

I’m scared,

Hold me.

That’s what I’d say,

But I’m scared I’m too clingy.

Will you hate me?

That’s why I hate being in love,

But it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever known.

Love me,

I say.

Love Me!

Love Me!

Tell me you love me too.

Tell me,

Because I want to cling onto you,

Show you my adoring affection,

My undying love,

I want to prove it to you.

I don’t want you looking anywhere but at me,

Is it because I’m jealous,

That I hold you closer?

Is it only me who wants to possess you?

Look only at me,

Feel free to have friends that are girls,

That are guys,

That are in between,

But only look at me.

I am clingy.

I am in love.

I can’t help it.

Do you love me?

Do you really love me?

I’m sorry.

Sorry for being clingy,




I can’t stop saying it.

Look at me,

Ah, I breathe,

You’re looking at me

But you’re not smiling.

I’m exasperating you,

You know it,

I know it,

But still you cup my cheeks,

And give me a little shake,

So that I feel a little dizzy,

But undoubtedly clearer,

And you say,

“Idiot, I am looking at you.”

You kiss me,

It’s a gentle kiss.

“I’m dating you.”

And I can’t help but cry,

Because he’s practically declared himself,

In words that are almost a confession,

That say everything I’ve been afraid of,

Yet he’s not done,

Because he then says,

“I. Love. You.”

And my tears just fall harder,

Making him feel flustered,

But making me feel so full,

Of that wonderful feeling,

That I knew, that came with,

Being in love.

In The Time Of Forever.

This is a long one, enjoy!


We were just kids,

The time we made that promise.

A promise of forever,

To love and live,


Why is this world a sad place?

Of pain and conflict,

Misunderstandings and mistakes.

We cherished our love,

And believed in the past,

When we used to hold hands,

Getting all muddy,

And swimming in a lake.

As the years pass us by,


We grow older.

We grew older.

I grew shy, avoiding his eyes,

He grew wary, afraid to show me his love.

I stopped being boyish,

Growing into my girlhood,

Even if I was still a tomboy at heart.

He grew muscles, and a ratty attitude,

Hitting on girls,

And playing soccer like there was no tomorrow.

But I didn’t stop loving him,

Even if he did,

Breaking my heart,

And our promise,

We parted ways.

I went to one highschool,

And he went to another,

Our eyes chasing the other’s back,

Watching their fading silhouettes,

But never,

Never catching the eyes.

I cried,

The eternal promise,

A fading memory.

In the time of forever,

It seemed like love was lost,

And then,

From kisses shared, by a different other,

Their eyes,

The boy’s and the girl’s,

Looked above their partner’s heads,

From the side,

In secret,


Still looking for each other.

My pride has overcome me,

His guilt surpasses him,

Both unable to connect again,

Their paths never crossing,

Never meeting.

And then,

The wind blows,

With the blooming sakura,

Floating in on a spring afternoon.

I look out the window,

My laughter dying,

As I stand in shock.

I am pale.

My friends are giddy.

My classmates, jeering,

Because they don’t know.

He sees me,

Looking from above,

And I see the recognition.

He waves, but,

I know it’s not for me,

It’s for the girls around me.

Just like that half-smile.

Just like that stance.

I snap something along the lines,

“He’s just a guy, stop your gaggling,”

And they called me a party pooper.

But I don’t care.

I haven’t forgotten.

It wasn’t my fault.

It was his.

He saw her briefly, or at least,

A girl like her,

And his heart moved an inch.

He looks for her,

Finds her,

Leans over her in need and want,

His words, teasing and almost cruel.

He was in love with her.

But they had just been kids.

And they grew up.

She pushes him away,

Her face blushing red.

How can such a simple misunderstanding,

The result of time passed,

Cause such a problem?

She pushes him away,

Every day,

Whenever she can,

She hates him,

So she says.

He let’s go of her hand,

Stunned in shock.

Those words,

They shouldn’t have hurt,

But they did,

For both of them.

She runs away,

Caught by surprise,

There are tears on her face.

In the time of forever,

Their paths cross constantly.

There is never a moment when they are not alone,

Not next to each other,

Not near each other.

It is a curse,

A blessing,

An unspoken comfort.

I can’t look away from him,

Even though I know,

He doesn’t love me,

They way I still love him.

And I know I’m stupid,

For letting him walk next to me again,

But I can’t help it.

Because we were kids,

When we made that promise,

Now we’re adults, old enough

To make a distinction,

About the past and

About the future.

And like before,

Even if my heart is broken,

I want my future,

To be with him.

And my ice shell begins to melt,

It drips,

Slips away,

Looking for another place.

But I’m not the only one,

Losing my shell,

Transforming back into a past,

Yet still being a future.

He is losing his shell too,

From the way he only focuses on me.

I had wanted to ignore it,

But he never stopped once,

Not even in front of the other girls,

Or when he saved me from them,

Shielding me with his body,

Without asking my permission.

But I was grateful,

It felt like our childhood all over again,

Good or not,

I let him walk me home.

In the time of forever,

This is the moment we would always remember,

The gentle breeze coaxing,

The sun shining,

And the sly glances to the side.

Our hands would brush,

But I would pull away,

And brush,

And pull away,

Not because I didn’t want to,

But because,

Even then,

Old feelings are hard to hide.

At least, until,

The ex-girlfriend enters the scene.

I slap him,

And she slaps him,

But we aren’t in synchrony.

I want him, but

He doesn’t seem to want me.

I walk away,



He jerks me back.

I want to tell him,

We are not friends,

We are not kids,

He can’t bully me,

Twist me,

Turn me any way he wants.

But he kisses me,

Hugs me,

Refuses to let me go.

I don’t feel like a kid.

I don’t even feel like childhood friend.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you,” he repeats.

Only you.

I weep,

Because I’m an idiot,

Who loves him too.

In the time of forever,

We should never forget,

That we have one life,

To live and be,

That we can’t waste,

On an eternity

Of pondering and missed chances,

Mistakes and misunderstandings.

I love him,

He loves me.

We promised to be together,

And to live forever,

Just for him,

And just for me.


I’m just lucky,

I suppose, that

In the time of forever,

When we should have said things earlier,

I never thought,

That he would ever come back to me.

When We Were Together.

For a friend…


When we were together,

All I could do was cry.

If we were in love,

Why was I more miserable,

Than happy?

When we were together,

I was the one always waiting,

Dressed prettily,

For only you.

I wanted you to ask me out,

To go on a date,

To spend some time.

If we were in love,

Where were you all the time?

I’m not a clingy person.

I don’t want to take all your space,

But you’re supposed to love me,

You’re supposed to show me you care.

Don’t leave me behind,

Like an old dish rag.

When we were together,

I told you I love you,

And you always said “Me too.”

If we were in love,

Then you should have said

At least once,

“I love you,”

Then maybe,

You would have deserved my trust.

When we were together,

I defended you,

When everyone else,

Said bad things behind you.

Because we were together,

I defended you,

But you didn’t deserve that trust.

You didn’t even trust me,

Not even thinking,

About whether or not,

I needed to be trusted.

If we were in love,

I shouldn’t have had to.

You wouldn’t need to be defended,

Because your eyes,

Wouldn’t even think,

About betraying me.

When we were together,

You never looked at me properly.

If we were in love,

Then you should have cherished me.

I may not be a doll,

Not porcelain,

Not china.

But I am a girl,

With a heart and feelings,

That will break and hurt,

Even though you don’t see it.

You should know,

I am—


Your girlfriend.

When we were together,

There weren’t all bad memories,

That I will give you.

If we were in love,

Then all my memories,

Would have been happy,

But now it’s ended.

I am so glad,

Because I won’t cry anymore,

I won’t stress anymore,

Won’t send pointless messages,

Under the pretense of a relationship.

I am so glad this has ended,


When we were together,

We were never in love.


I have faith,

In the future of tomorrow.

I don’t need to cry,

For the lost love,

That was mine.

He might have said,

“I love you,”

And I might have said,

“I love you too.”

But I never knew,

That I could feel this sorrow,

This pain of never ending today,

With multiple tissues,

And endless,

Crying telephone calls.

I will only cry for one day.

I will only cry for myself.

I will not cry for the lost love,

For he lost my love,

He should cry for me.

Tomorrow, I will hang up my past,

Put away the tissues,

Wipe my nose,

Hold out my hand.

I will take the gift that tomorrow brings,

And cup it in my hand.

It is golden bright,

Shining and twinkling in the daylight.

I will kiss it,

Inhale it,

Live it.

Because I deserve a better love.

I deserve a better tomorrow.

No more crying.

No more anguish.


Just tomorrow,

The future, I embrace it.

The Love Triangle?


Why can’t you leave me alone?

Why can’t you see that I’m already in love?

Are you trying to hurt me?

Is this a good excuse?

That your feelings are more important than mine?

That I should accept yours even though I love someone else so much more?

Does it matter if the one I love is a little aloof, a little shy, a little reserved?

Does it matter so much that you have to say that you’re the better man?

How would you know?

How do you know that my love is the right one?

Because he loves me.

He cherishes me.

He lets me know every night how much he loves me.

And it’s not just touching.

It’s words.

It’s little things.

It’s knowing that I hate this and I hate that.

It’s knowing what I love the most and what I want the most.

It’s knowing that he doesn’t criticise me for who I am.

I feel loved.

It’s not just lust.

So back off!

I listened to your feelings and I told you I don’t return them.

I’m sorry to hurt you.

I’m sorry that I might be harsh.

I’m sorry that you have these feelings for me.

But I’ll tell you.

Fall in love again.

There’s someone out there even better than me.

Leave me to my own hopeless love.

Because I’m happy the way I am.

Because I’m not complaining.

Because I will never love anyone else the way I love him.

Don’t waste your life chasing a girl who will never love you back.

Don’t waste time.

I won’t tell you to forget me.

I won’t tell you that you have chance.

Because you have no chance.

I love him.


[I wrote this in a fit.  Since I’ve been reading so much shoujo manga lately, I keep seeing a familiar, recurring plot line, just like a lot of YA.  Though the style is similar – two boys, one girl or vice versa, the approach is different.  In Manga, there’s more material and more action that the reader is privvy too, that’s because manga gives it the space to.  But in YA, you really just see the interaction of the protagonist and the two love interests.  There is some development (but in my opinion, there really isn’t many instances where each has an equal chance)  I really don’t mind a good love triangle.  But still I still get frustrated when the female protagonist is too idle or too stupid to realise the other person’s intentions.  Also, the “him” can be interchanged with “her” for a male perspective (but only if it sounds like a manly voice :P)]

There Is A Place.


There is a place I want to see before I die.  My friends heard this and said, ‘We’ll take you there!’  But it’s been a long time since they said that.  I wonder where they are…they haven’t come for a long time.

And I miss them.

My heart is slowing, and it’s hard for me to sleep these days, but still I hope to see that place.  I want to touch the sand again.  I want to feel the sadness and happiness I felt at that one time.  Will I ever see it?

I wonder if they’ll come today?

I’m fading.  It’s so hard to move my limbs.  I can’t even open my eyes to see the sunlight.  I can’t see the way it glints off the window like fairy dust sprinkled at my seventh birthday.

We were all meant to be together, finish high school together, go to uni together, live our dreams together.  I want to say sorry, sorry for not fulfilling my promise, sorry for leaving.  I want to tell them that.  When I see them…but they haven’t come for a long time… Maybe I shouldn’t.

But I want to see them one more time.  I don’t want to go.

‘Sh, she’s sleeping!’  I hear this whisper, but I’m so tired.  Arms wrap around me, lift me, and carry me.  I want to say, let me go.  I want to say, let me die.  But they just hold me, strong and tight.  They don’t want to let me go.

There are more whispers.  Of arguments, just like the old times.  Somehow I imagine that they are the voices of my friends.  Maybe I’m still in the hospital, yet this swaying makes me think otherwise.  I feel safe.  If I die here, resting by this warm body, I think I shall be happy.

I smile, and a hand touches my cheek.  I feel something wet, and I try to brush it away, but I’m too weak.  I’m carried again, my arms around the neck of my carrier and my head resting on the shoulder.  I know this body.  I know this person.

Then the movement stops.  And there are more warm bodies pressed around me as they lower me.  They hands are gentle against my frailness.  I’ll never let go of this body.  I’ll never let go of these hands.

And then those strong arms wrap around me, one hand takes my hand and I feel the ground.  It’s soft…like sand.

‘Open your eyes,’ he whispers in my ear, ‘Open them once more, for us.’

And I open them, somehow I’m crying.  Through my tears, I see that one place.  I am here with my friends around me, each hand resting on my shoulder or my arm, always connected, always together.  I am with the ones I love and I am both happy and sad.  And they are like me, we are one, friends forever, a bond that will never be separated even by death.  Seeing their tears, I say, ‘Thank you…’