In The Time Of Forever.

This is a long one, enjoy!

*

We were just kids,

The time we made that promise.

A promise of forever,

To love and live,

Together.

Why is this world a sad place?

Of pain and conflict,

Misunderstandings and mistakes.

We cherished our love,

And believed in the past,

When we used to hold hands,

Getting all muddy,

And swimming in a lake.

As the years pass us by,

Though,

We grow older.

We grew older.

I grew shy, avoiding his eyes,

He grew wary, afraid to show me his love.

I stopped being boyish,

Growing into my girlhood,

Even if I was still a tomboy at heart.

He grew muscles, and a ratty attitude,

Hitting on girls,

And playing soccer like there was no tomorrow.

But I didn’t stop loving him,

Even if he did,

Breaking my heart,

And our promise,

We parted ways.

I went to one highschool,

And he went to another,

Our eyes chasing the other’s back,

Watching their fading silhouettes,

But never,

Never catching the eyes.

I cried,

The eternal promise,

A fading memory.

In the time of forever,

It seemed like love was lost,

And then,

From kisses shared, by a different other,

Their eyes,

The boy’s and the girl’s,

Looked above their partner’s heads,

From the side,

In secret,

Searching,

Still looking for each other.

My pride has overcome me,

His guilt surpasses him,

Both unable to connect again,

Their paths never crossing,

Never meeting.

And then,

The wind blows,

With the blooming sakura,

Floating in on a spring afternoon.

I look out the window,

My laughter dying,

As I stand in shock.

I am pale.

My friends are giddy.

My classmates, jeering,

Because they don’t know.

He sees me,

Looking from above,

And I see the recognition.

He waves, but,

I know it’s not for me,

It’s for the girls around me.

Just like that half-smile.

Just like that stance.

I snap something along the lines,

“He’s just a guy, stop your gaggling,”

And they called me a party pooper.

But I don’t care.

I haven’t forgotten.

It wasn’t my fault.

It was his.

He saw her briefly, or at least,

A girl like her,

And his heart moved an inch.

He looks for her,

Finds her,

Leans over her in need and want,

His words, teasing and almost cruel.

He was in love with her.

But they had just been kids.

And they grew up.

She pushes him away,

Her face blushing red.

How can such a simple misunderstanding,

The result of time passed,

Cause such a problem?

She pushes him away,

Every day,

Whenever she can,

She hates him,

So she says.

He let’s go of her hand,

Stunned in shock.

Those words,

They shouldn’t have hurt,

But they did,

For both of them.

She runs away,

Caught by surprise,

There are tears on her face.

In the time of forever,

Their paths cross constantly.

There is never a moment when they are not alone,

Not next to each other,

Not near each other.

It is a curse,

A blessing,

An unspoken comfort.

I can’t look away from him,

Even though I know,

He doesn’t love me,

They way I still love him.

And I know I’m stupid,

For letting him walk next to me again,

But I can’t help it.

Because we were kids,

When we made that promise,

Now we’re adults, old enough

To make a distinction,

About the past and

About the future.

And like before,

Even if my heart is broken,

I want my future,

To be with him.

And my ice shell begins to melt,

It drips,

Slips away,

Looking for another place.

But I’m not the only one,

Losing my shell,

Transforming back into a past,

Yet still being a future.

He is losing his shell too,

From the way he only focuses on me.

I had wanted to ignore it,

But he never stopped once,

Not even in front of the other girls,

Or when he saved me from them,

Shielding me with his body,

Without asking my permission.

But I was grateful,

It felt like our childhood all over again,

Good or not,

I let him walk me home.

In the time of forever,

This is the moment we would always remember,

The gentle breeze coaxing,

The sun shining,

And the sly glances to the side.

Our hands would brush,

But I would pull away,

And brush,

And pull away,

Not because I didn’t want to,

But because,

Even then,

Old feelings are hard to hide.

At least, until,

The ex-girlfriend enters the scene.

I slap him,

And she slaps him,

But we aren’t in synchrony.

I want him, but

He doesn’t seem to want me.

I walk away,

Hurt,

Annoyed,

He jerks me back.

I want to tell him,

We are not friends,

We are not kids,

He can’t bully me,

Twist me,

Turn me any way he wants.

But he kisses me,

Hugs me,

Refuses to let me go.

I don’t feel like a kid.

I don’t even feel like childhood friend.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you,” he repeats.

Only you.

I weep,

Because I’m an idiot,

Who loves him too.

In the time of forever,

We should never forget,

That we have one life,

To live and be,

That we can’t waste,

On an eternity

Of pondering and missed chances,

Mistakes and misunderstandings.

I love him,

He loves me.

We promised to be together,

And to live forever,

Just for him,

And just for me.

But,

I’m just lucky,

I suppose, that

In the time of forever,

When we should have said things earlier,

I never thought,

That he would ever come back to me.

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