Reality

There are some days

I just want to huddle

In a dark corner of my room

And think

‘how scary’

The world is.

There are some days

Where I just want to scream

In frustration

Of all the red tape

I’m seeing.

There are just some days

I feel the unease in my bones

A foreboding premonition

That might never come true

Just by reading a few words.

There are some days

I find myself staring

At nothing in particular

Wondering about tomorrow

Thinking about today

Reminiscing about simpler times

When yes and no

Right and wrong

Correct or incorrect

Needed no proof

Needed only trust

Had softer consequences.

There are some days

When all these fears

And realities

Come crashing down

A feeling of hopeful despair

Sends our convictions

Wavering in the wind

And leave us wondering if

We are achieving

Our means to our ends

That we are living

And not just

Existing in reality.

Quote #174

From Eleanor Roosevelt…

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”

Wonders of the World

I think of the wonders of the world,

I think about the ancient wonders,

The modern wonders,

The technological,

But then,

I realise,

However amazing they are,

They are not what I was thinking of at all.

I’m thinking of the wonders,

Not made of stone,

Of steel,

Of copper wire,

But wonders of the heart,

Of the people we meet,

Of the very belief

That we live in a world of something so much more.

The seven wonders,

Beautiful and bright,

Within my sights

I can see with my eyes,

The things that change the world,

One action at a time.

My ears fill with the sounds

Of happiness, sadness,

Laughter, and needs for anger management,

They scream at loud noises,

And lull to the silence,

It roars,

The silence roars,

And then it settles,

Becoming a bumble,

Of sound and voices,

And I touch,

With my fingers,

The sights that touch me,

And the sounds that sing to me,

I touch, and feel

The hot and the cold,

The brittle and the hard,

And taste what it means

To be alive,

Living and breathing,

Existing and feeling,

It tastes like freedom,

Bitterly sweet,

And that I feel,

This bitterness,

I can’t help but feel,

But I don’t complain,

And complain beyond doubt,

Because I know,

That this is something I can feel,

Even though I might doubt,

This bitterness,

I cannot deny that I do not feel it

Just as I cannot deny the laughter

That escapes upon intervals,

Bubbling and boiling,

Spilling over and uncontrollable,

Spreading, until it blooms

In the centre of one chest,

The feeling of love

For the incomparable,

Things, that make us humans,

Go beyond our very natures

To be the very best we can…

For those we love,

The sights that we adore,

The sounds that we hear,

Within the silence of our thoughts,

The touch of hot,

And cold, the taste

Of the feelings we retain,

That makes us laugh

And sometimes cry,

We are humans,

Tore by own affliction,

Growing,

Day by day,

By the seven wonders

Of our hearts.

 

 

N.b.  I had a little issue writing this…no offense to those I may cause offense to unintentionally as I realise that maybe not all of us have the pleasure of seeing, hearing and feeling what my poem discussing.  This makes me feel somewhat troubled, but I wanted still to express how I felt about the world.

Just So You Know.

Just so you know,

We are who we are.

Just so you know,

We will be who we want.

Just so you know,

We don’t have forever.

We are nothing but a star in the dark time

Waiting for a moon to shine upon us,

Giving us the sun’s rays,

So that we can twinkle high above,

Stars, they shine all night long

They give us the song’s that we cannot sing

They are the celestial gods,

These hot balls of fire,

Are dragging us apart,

Spinning our worlds

Turning our heads,

Giving us some kind of hope,

But we are the makers,

The dreamers and the doers,

We look at the stars

And see something we don’t see,

We look at the moon,

And feel the tides change,

We shade from the sun,

And dare to glimpse its brightness.

Just so you know,

We are not puppets,

On a string to be mastered,

Just so you know,

We are not bound by the fears

That holds us at bay.

Just so you know,

We are the makers of our futures.

 

What Happens to Us?

What happens to us?

Even though we are in love,

What happens to us?

We know everything about each other,

But yet there are so many secrets,

We have known each other for so long,

Yet, not really very long at all,

We love each other very much,

But yet why, why does it feel like,

We will fall apart at the lightest touch?

What will happen to us,

In this small moment of heartbreak,

When we realise just how much,

We’ve hurt each other in the end.

It was so subtle, hidden behind smiles,

In those rare moments,

Where we saw each other.

It’s when we part,

And forget to say what should have been said,

It’s when we part,

That we think on one side or another,

That we will last,

But on the other,

It’s not like that at all.

The feelings are still there,

And they still matter,

But between all the pain,

All the hurt and heartbreak,

Can we still be what we once were?

What happens now?

When I want to stay with you,

What happens to us?

Can we make it last?

I look at you,

And see something,

I did not see before.

Once before,

I might have just

Let us fall apart

At the slightest touch.

Love does not come as a given,

But grown over time,

It takes work and effort,

And boundless forgiveness

For the faults that can be forgiven.

I have said my piece,

It’s time for yours,

How do you feel?

Is it true?

We are two,

Finding a way to work the answer

Of

What happens to us.

Your Hand On My Back.

There are words I cannot say,

I open my mouth,

And I shape them,

But there is no sound.

I stand on the cliff edge,

And try to scream,

But all I hear,

Is the birds calling in place,

Where my voice should be.

I cannot scream,

Even though,

I want to scream.

I feel the tears,

Of frustration,

Falling,

Where there is no voice,

To voice the pain,

And anguish,

I can cry,

But only the blue,

Blue sky is witness,

To the sorrow that has filled my heart.

Cry,

Cry,

Scream.

I can’t scream.

I can only move my mouth,

I can only try,

And try,

And try.

You find me,

At my worst,

Huddled under the clear blue sky,

Crying in frustration,

Unable to speak the words,

I so desperately want to say.

And your hand,

Just your hand,

On my back,

Reminds me in that moment,

That I am not alone.