What Weighs Us Down.

We don’t always mean

What we say

When we say it

More like yell it

As it explodes from our mouths

In a fit of something

That was built on anger,

Or annoyance

Or stress

Or self-loathing.

We love you

We like you

We want to be your friend

Your lover

Your something.

But

We shake

And hate

How we feel afterwards

As our fingers tremble

And disgust fills us

As we wonder

Do we hate?

Do we love?

Is it the limit we have reached?

That makes us say

‘Sometimes I just hate

That part of you…’

And turn our backs

To walk away,

To stride through that door,

And slam it in your face,

To silently

And vengefully

Promise to ourselves

To never turn back.

So why do we go back

Over and over,

After we expressed

What had long been held

Tightly within

And our other selves

Revealed,

The side of darkness

Of curling envy

Of dreaded pain

Of self disgust…

Our words are true,

And emotion filled

Ripping away

The face that you always see.

We are not two faced,

Though it might seem that we,

We are just so calm

That sometimes you forget

That we are human too.

Don’t compare us to bullies

Or domestic abusers,

We are just your friend,

And sometimes,

We want to be heard too.

Sometimes,

It’s not about you,

Even though

We lashed out at you.

Sometimes,

Our shoulders are too heavy,

With things unrelated to you,

Sometimes,

We just don’t know how

To express

What weighs us down the most.

We don’t ask for it,

But we want,

What you want,

And we want

Someone to see

What we really mean;

Look between the words

Of burning fire,

And put out the source

Give back our smiles

And take away

Just a little of

What was us down.

 

 

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