It’s interesting, as I type up the stuff in my notebook how different the first parts of my journey to the middle of my journey were, I mean, I look at Part 1 – 8 and then Part 9 – Part 11. The first part really concentrates on laying out a “setting” feeling and the second concentrates on “character” feelings…they’re really different. I think I started to scare myself a bit too much in the second part,well, it makes sense, quiet places disturb me, and even though I’m a partial fan of horrors, it seems my imagination gets a little hyperactive at the chance to weave my own scary story. Hmm…maybe in the future, I might turn my experiences into an actual story…
It was hot as we put the poles together for the tent. The sun beat down on my neck and I felt the sweat drip down. There was a cool breeze that blew from the sea below us. We were perched at the edge of the land, yet if I were to go down to the water, I would have to walk a little further. From where I was standing, on the edge of the flat earth, I could see the rows and rows of oyster sticks for the oyster farm. It was a calming, breezy sight. Very beautiful, very frightening. For this to be so calm in this place that is so vacant, so alone, in the countryside, I’m not bothered.
I’m not bothered by the circle of caravans to our right. I’m not bothered by the smoke that rises from them even though I can’t see anyone there. I’m not bothered at all. And yet, I can’t stop looking around every time I heard an unusual sound. I can’t stop flinching even in the daylight.
Again I remember that stupid movie.
But I tell myself I’m not scared.
I’m not scared at all.
We’re not alone. Not at all. People live here. There’s an oyster farm, houses, caravans with smoke. We’re not alone.
So why am I unnerved by the sight of my pup wandering around sniffing the ground? Why does it scare me when I can’t see her, just because she hid under the trailer and only her leash is visible? Why do I try so desperately to make her eat and drink when she doesn’t want to?
As the afternoon progresses, my pup becomes more and more unsettled. She can’t stop snelling everywhere. She can’t stop moving. We tie her to the gazebo, her leash long and free, but she wanders down past the tent I share with my brother, to the cliff edge. And every time we had to haul her back. She is unsettled. And it makes me unsettled. All of a sudden I can help but think, what she is smelling? Even though I know that it’s a new place and that she’s not accustomed to it yet, I still can’t help but think, maybe she’s found something disturbing? Especially when it’s the same spot constantly and when she constantly wants to walk down to the water through the long green grass and down a steep metre or two cliff. It unsettles me. Maybe she’s found a dead body?